Break-up blues and how to fix them

If you’ve ever been through a break-up, you know it is a difficult time. Regardless of how long you were together, who broke up with who, how much you loved them, if it was long or short distance, it still is going to hurt.. a lot. 

Of course, the added stresses of life, university and a whole handful of other things doesn’t help the process for when it comes to healing. For instances like this, it is all about mind over matter, and I have come up with some ways to help you get through this hard time with my own experiences, and influences from friends who have been through this rough patch too.

A while ago I went through a break-up myself, without the nitty-gritty details, it wasn’t fun, I didn’t wake up smiling and I certainly didn’t have the desire to eat salads and drink water. However luckily for me, I had the support of my friends and family, and the distraction of university.. and my dogs (because there’s never a better healer than cuddling a big fluffy doggo.)

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You hear stories of people going off the rails, spiralling and then ending up like Bridget Jones, when in reality, it doesn’t have to be like that at all, although Bridget Jones did get her life sorted out in the end, kind of, so maybe it can be like that a little. But either way, here are some ways to heal your mind and heart after a painful break-up.

Family and friends:

These will be your saviour of healing a broken heart. I never appreciated my friends and family more, when I was going through this hard time. Speaking to your family and friends is an almost way of therapy. Getting it all out, talking about everything in the minuscule of detail, getting advice from them, because 9 times out of 10, they’ve been through this too.

Talking to your family creates a sense of comfort. They will be there for you, they will be experienced and can offer you the best of advice, and they help distract you when you cannot distract yourself.

I also found that spending time with friends was the most active way of getting through and moving on. Friends are an amazing distraction, whether you go out and grab food with them, or have a movie night and cry on their shoulder throughout the entire film, diluting your wine with tears, or going for a walk.

They will be there for you and will understand that they need to be there for you.

Talk, talk and talk, it’s therapeutic and really helps you to understand and process what you’re going through all whilst gaining advice from those who have been through the exact same thing.

Cry:

This one is just as it seems. Cry. Cry, cry and cry even more. Crying will help cleanse you, cleanse you of emotions and stress. Listen to your mind, heart and body.

If it’s telling you to cry, you cry! If you’re out in public, you cry. In your room, you cry. In the pub, you cry. I remember I was visiting a pizza place with my mum very soon after a break-up, and I’m not one to cry in public, but something came over me and bam, my pizza was seasoned with droplets of salty tears, and once that little crying session was over, I’d never eaten pizza so happily in my life!

Just get it all out, and start again. Repeat the routine until you don’t feel the need to cry anymore.

Distractions:

Do things that you know make you happy. Go for a walk. Watch all the Harry Potter movies whilst eating ice cream and drinking relentless amounts of coffee. Write about it. Go shopping, bake a cake. Do what you need to do to divert your mind elsewhere.

I found that immersing myself in my university work helped more than I could have imagined. Who knew writing about the British Hierarchy and learning HTML for Online Production could be so fun when you’re in need of a distraction?

Social Media:

Depending on what went wrong, and where you guys stand now, the traditional route post-breakup is to remove them from not only your life but your internet life too.

Get rid of them on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc – this will allow you to minimise your inner stalker and begin to learn to view life, and your internet life, without them. It will be sad at first, deleting photos and essentially erasing memories, but in the long run, it’s the best thing you could have done.

All in all:

But just remember, we’re all going through the same emotions. If you’re going through this now, just know that you’re not alone. Become a better you and when it’s all over and you’ve found yourself and happiness again. See it as a blessing in disguise. 

Flash forward a few years from now. You’ve graduated and got your degree, your beaming with joy and are working hard with only happiness on your mind. And you know what won’t be on your mind? Being heartbroken.