Long distance relationships at university

If you’re reading this, you’re either in a long-distance relationship, in a relationship and about to move away or just curious about the trials of young love, either way, I am here to tell you there is hope, and long-distance doesn’t have to suck so much.

Just to add context, I have been with my boyfriend for well over a year now, we’re both from Kent, though I now partially live here in Lincoln, and he is based in Essex. I use the word “based” to describe where he lives because he’s in the army. Uh oh, I know, never date a soldier guys! Even though my situation may not be the same as yours, I’m sure my feelings are. The only difference you and I may have is that my boyfriend gets sent away a lot and is sometimes away for months.

Deciding to come to university was, of course, a tough decision regardless of being in a relationship or not. However, being in a relationship, just made that decision a tad harder. Knowingly deciding to not only move away from your family and friends, but your boyfriend/girlfriend is a daunting thought. You’ll think things like, what if we never see each other? Can our relationship handle this distance? And many more understandable reasons as to why you’re worried. Trust me, I went through many thoughts like this before coming to university, like, what if he gets posted somewhere? How will I be able to handle my emotions at university if something happened? What if they don’t allow him off camp and I can’t see him?

I’ve come to terms with the fact that these thoughts are ok to think, natural even. Though, they are also easily managed, through talking. I found that talking to my boyfriend about how I was feeling made me feel more comfortable about moving further away than anything else. Talk to your partner about your worries, ask them if they’ll make sure they try to come and see you, and you will likewise. Ask how they feel about you moving, and how you can make it work.

Making a plan as to when or how often you’ll see your partner will make the whole long-distance thing easier, whether or not it’s every weekend or even every month, that slight effort of seeing each other as much as you can shows that you can do it, it shows that you are willing to put in your effort to make it work.

Now, I know I’m not an Agony Aunt, but I am somewhat experienced in long-distance dating, and to be quite honest with you, it does suck, massively. But it’s also can be amazing at the same time. During the week you can focus on university work, then weekends and holidays you can spend with your partner, and make those times even more special.

So, if you are in a long-distance relationship, I know how you feel, and I want you to know it is doable. If you’re in a relationship and moving away, don’t panic, you will work it out, and if you’re just a person with a curious eye, I hope I could help.